The Guide to Positive Thinking
Why we reject it and how to overcome it.
During the last two years of the COVID-19 Pandemic, it’s been hard not to think about the next disaster that’s going to strike as the media has continually drawn all the attention to the bad things going on in the world. Not only were we hit with a worldwide pandemic, but we then had major wildfires in multiple different countries that not only took lives but also made a significant impact on the carbon footprint of the world. Understandably, it would be quite difficult to look through all this and focus on the positives, but during the midst of this cloud of problems and worries, there were major breakthroughs and so many points to celebrate. For example, the United States had their first Woman of Colour Vice President, and for something a little closer to home, Calgary and Edmonton both had their very first Indian Mayors!
Now, when there is so much possible joy that could be happening in our lives, why do we choose to overlook it and focus on the negatives? I think it’s because anger and fear and both very prominent emotions that are easy to feel. Our brains react way stronger to negative situations than to positive ones - this is called the negative bias.
It’s not easy to get over negative bias, I can personally relate to how easy it is to fall into these habits. However, being more positive doesn’t mean hyper-fixating on only thinking positive and confident thoughts, it means editing aspects of your life to gear your thoughts towards more optimistic views. It is so important to know and understand that you are still a work in progress and you aren’t perfect. The more you become comfortable with the fact that you are a work in progress, the easier it will be to progress the work. That being said, it has been so easy to just think of all the bad things right away and to further expand on the deeper science behind these thoughts, we have to understand negative attention bias. Negative attention bias is based primarily on the focus on negative things to the point that our brains specifically notice bad things instead of the good.
Adjusting your current outlook on life, especially after all the events that we’ve witnessed is difficult, so how do we even get to a point where we can confidently point out the positives in our life?
1. Acknowledge All of your Thoughts.
This is a lot easier said than done. Sometimes, it's an impulse and we’re not even aware that it’s happening. Other times, even if we are aware, something makes us feel like we’re bad people for having these thoughts. But I don’t think we’re bad people for thinking these things because everybody has points in their life where it’s easier to point out everything wrong with current events than think about it from a positive perspective. However, once you do start to realize the many different times you think something pessimistic, acknowledge them and realize that you are doing it and it is something that you want to change. I’ve come to realize that there are so many opportunities where there are options to form an opinion, yet, it’s quite often that we don’t realize the choice that we make. Even in our workplace situations, there’s so many ways to point out deficiencies at work. I have personally been in situations where I know I can form more positive opinions, but I don’t. Acknowledging the thoughts needs steps too. There are so many ways to start becoming more aware. For example, something that works for me is counseling or therapy. It's been so important to my growth and getting my thoughts out in the open has helped me dissect the meanings behind them and think clearly. A few other ways are journaling, or challenging your views with articles or other perspectives.
2. Replace the Negative Thoughts About Yourself.
Appreciation for everything else starts after appreciation for yourself. The next time you catch yourself thinking about how there is so much going wrong, stop and think about the different aspects that are going right. Something that many people struggle with is imposter syndrome. So to use it as an example, the next time you feel that you are an imposter:
Think about the reasons you got to where you are.
Think about the different events that had to take place in order for you to end up at this spot.
Think about the many qualities that other people see in you and that you see in yourself that could make you beyond successful.
3. Make that Effort to Discover the Good in Things and Appreciate what is Around You.
Once you’ve started making changes for yourself, start making changes in your life as well. At every impulsive negative thought, decide to make a positive comment. Maybe you just walked out of an exam very unconfident in your attempt, BUT now that exam is over and you can go treat yourself to some food, or a bit of a break, or my favorite - a nap! It’s also so helpful to make a list of the good stuff that happens arounnd you. It is as simple as writing that you saw the sunset and it made you happy or that your coffee was made perfectly that day! There will always be things that suck and you can’t change, what you can do is find something to be happy about in every situation. The more you implement these changes in your routine, the more it’ll become a routine.
4. Ask Yourself ‘Why’?
Often, there is a reason why we think what we think. It could be the habits we grew up with or we saw someone else do it and it stuck. Every habit has causation. It is up to you to figure out the thought process behind these habits and this is where asking yourself ‘why’ comes in. When you ask yourself these deep and difficult questions, it forces you to think about what aspects of your life put you in the situation which in turn, makes you think about what you can do to change it and how you can take the steps moving forward to bring more positivity into your life. There are so many ways to ask yourself these questions, and as mentioned before, therapy or journaling is an amazing way to get those thoughts out.
5. Use Positive Affirmations.
There’s something you don’t hear too often but I swear it changes your perspective on life. From all the TikTok trends and Buzzfeed articles, affirmations actually do play a pivotal role in thinking about positivity. When you start your day off thinking that everything will go well and you deserve the best, it is truly the path you layout for yourself. This is your sign to start off every morning with everyone's favorite TikTok mantra, “I am healthy, I am wealthy…”, you know the rest.
A quote that has continuously resonated with me is, “In waiting for a big milestone to be happy about, you miss the opportunity to celebrate your small victories along the way.” It has resonated with me for so long because it’s completely right. While waiting for your next huge accomplishment, you miss the small celebrations of your little wins along the way and those are just as important. There are small celebrations everyday and life will only feel worse if you focus on the negatives rather than the positives.
Changing isn’t easy, especially after all the significant events you’ve been through. However, holding on to negative thoughts isn’t healthy so why keep doing it? It’ll take time but guiding yourself through positivity will truly impact so many areas of your life that you can’t even see yet.
A quote that a friend told me would go with this growth and development is, “The solution to positive thinking is not hyper focused on positivity, but rather reframing aspects of your mind into forces that ignite and inspire growth.”
To get you started on your journey for self growth, our girls in WIB have come up with a few affirmations to get you started!
I am working on myself and getting better everyday.
I wake up motivated and ready to be the best version of myself.
I am unstoppable.
I believe in myself and all that I am.
I will look at challenges as opportunities.
I am so excited to see where this development leads and the differences that it will hopefully make. Change won’t happen overnight but it will progress and you will learn and become a better version of yourself every day!
In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson,
“It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.”
References
Council, Forbes Coaches. “Council Post: 13 Ways to Overcome Negative Thought Patterns.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 10 Dec. 2021, www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2016/05/09/13-coaches-explain-how-to-overcome-negative-thought-patterns/?sh=51978a0035cb.
Emerson, Ralph Waldo. “A Quote from Self-Reliance.” Goodreads, Goodreads, www.goodreads.com/quotes/859087-its-the-not-the-destination-it-s-the-journey#:~:text=Quote%20by%20Ralph%20Waldo%20Emerson,Destination%2C%20It's%20the%20journey.%E2%80%9D.
History.com Editors. “2020 Events.” History.com, A&E Television Networks, 17 Dec. 2020, www.history.com/topics/21st-century/2020-events.
Thorne, Blake. “Why Your Brain Has a Negativity Bias and How to Fix It.” I Done This Blog, 15 Oct. 2019, blog.idonethis.com/negativity-bias/.