Breaking the Ice: Big Sis Advice I Wish Someone Told Me
Hi! I’m Carol, your 2026-2027 blog writer, and I can’t wait to settle into this new role and work alongside this year’s incredible team of hardworking women. I definitely have some big shoes to fill – if you’ve been following the blog over the past few years, you know the bar has been set high. If you’re new here, I would highly recommend checking out some of the previous blog posts, some of my favourites from last year include Halen’s “Friend or Foe” and “The Sisterhood Strategy: How Women Lift as They Climb”.
Now, a little about me!
I’m heading into my fifth year of university overall, majoring in Psychology with a minor in Sociology. I’m also pursuing a Certificate in International Leadership. Outside of school and work, I enjoy travelling, yoga and weight lifting, playing the guitar (music is one of the best parts of living, in my opinion!), and spending time with my child (my cat, Miso).
What do I, as a psychology student, plan to bring to the WIB blog?
At its core, psychology is the study of how we think, behave, and connect with others.
Ultimately, psychology examines the very factors that influence confidence, empowerment, and community. So while I’m ecstatic to delve into the more business-specific aspects of the blog, I’m also looking forward to bringing a perspective to the blog that explores evidence-based insights into topics that influence both personal and professional growth, such as “The Science Behind Imposter Syndrome, and Why it Matters” (stay tuned for the next blog!). In other words, I’m going to use my education as an excuse to nerd out!
Unfortunately for all of you, I am naturally a chronic oversharer, so I might as well stay true to character and get vulnerable.
My first few years out of high school were pretty intense. I moved out at 18, changed programs, took two semesters off, and spent more time than I’d like to admit wondering if everyone else had secretly been given a handbook on how to be an adult. Going from getting Honours with Distinction in grade 12 to almost failing a class my first semester was humbling, to say the least.
If there are any eldest daughters reading this, I have a feeling you’ll understand me when I say there are many moments in life where you wish you had a big sister to tell you what to do, only to remember you are the big sister. My first few years of adulthood were full of those moments.
So in honour of me getting old and turning 22 in a few months (ouch..), I thought it would be appropriate to share 21 things I would tell my younger self. I will preface by saying, I don’t have everything figured out, and the point of this blog is not to pretend I do. Adulthood is strange though, and it creeps up on you. The smallest of tasks like meal prepping, keeping up with appointments, and making time for friends with conflicting schedules begins to add up. Add school and work on top of that, and life can feel merely mechanical. It’s not just crossing off your to-do list though, this newfound freedom makes us hyperaware of the endless possibilities of life, and the endless things we’re just seemingly supposed to know as adults. Sometimes you feel “ahead”, sometimes you feel “behind”. You open Instagram and someone you went to high school with is getting married. You open Linkedin and someone you met in class got the internship you applied for and didn’t get. It can be overwhelming at times, especially if you have a desire to know, and try everything. It’s important to remember, though, that adulthood is truly just a never-ending process of learning. So whether you’re just starting university, or you’re about to graduate and trying to plan for what comes next, I hope at least one of these pieces of advice sticks with you.
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Being able to discern when you should go out with friends, and when you should stay home and prioritize sleep is a learned skill, but in order to find that balance, you should allow yourself to say yes more and be open to more experiences. I’ve never regretted a last minute plan, but I have regretted saying no. Eventually, being able to differentiate between treating yourself to a dinner out with friends, and being “irresponsible” comes naturally.
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Have you ever held onto something purely for the fact that you’ve already put time and effort into it? Then you’ve probably been a victim of the Sunk-Cost Fallacy. We’ve all done it, whether it be with career endeavours, romantic relationships, or friendships. It can be particularly difficult with friends, or romantic relationships because of the emotional connections attached. However, as you grow up, grow out of old habits, and develop into a new person, it is very important to recognise when people have served their purpose in your life. This should never come from a place of arrogance or thinking that you’re better than anyone else, but as you grow older, the amount of free time you have generally decreases, so make sure you’re spending that time with people who align with your values and goals at this point in your life.
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Just kidding, do both, but seriously, finding something to pour passion into is very rewarding. Side note: don’t shy away from trying new hobbies because you’re scared of being a beginner. Being a beginner is incredible exposure therapy to stepping outside of your comfort zone, and building that skill is crucial to essentially every aspect of your life.
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Do more things alone, stop being scared to post on social media, try something new. I promise, no one is watching you as closely as you think they are.
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Whether positive or negative, remain open-minded. Even if someone isn’t exactly like you, making an active effort to try to learn something from them is a powerful way of broadening your perspective.
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Maybe hypocritical of me to say considering I’m an oversharer, but I’m working on it… But seriously, when you share your goals with people, your brain prematurely releases dopamine – the neurotransmitter that is responsible for aiding our motivation. When this happens, we essentially feel a sense of completeness from a reward that hasn’t actually happened yet, which can deplete our motivation aid. This one requires some nuance, though, because I do believe there is power in people in your life holding you accountable, or simply responding to the question of “What career path do you want to take?”. However, it is something to think about when considering those smaller, more easily attainable goals, because it allows you to appreciate the process more than the validation that comes from announcing the outcome.
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While I was thankfully blessed with a good property manager, I’ve heard way too many horror stories, and it’s always better to be safe than sorry. Document damage, take videos and pictures, try communicating through email whenever possible so that everything is in writing. Being a young person navigating leasing or renting means you’re more susceptible to landlords acknowledging that you’re less likely to have experience and therefore treating you as such.
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The key is not to do the most intense exercise but rather find something you will be consistent with. As I've mentioned, I love the gym and doing yoga, but I’m not going to lie and say I always have a burning desire to lift weights. When I find myself becoming bored with my workout routine, I’ll venture out and try a new form of fitness (aerial hoop being my most recent endeavour), because the brain loves novelty!
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There’s several ways to do this, and I’m not a financial advisor, so I can’t tell you what the best way for you to do it is, but I personally set aside a specific amount from every paycheque I receive, and even a small contribution adds up faster than you’d think.
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I like to think of embarrassment as being a reflection of your own perception of a situation, and oftentimes, it doesn’t accurately depict what other people are thinking. Embrace being vulnerable; authenticity is the foundation for deep, meaningful relationships!
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I could write a whole blog about this one, but I’ll keep it short. As I’ve mentioned, I love travelling. Of course, it can be expensive, but you will grow out of expensive clothes, you won’t, however, grow out of the psychological development associated with new experiences. Whether through traveling, or simply trying new activities within your city, experiences have a way of enriching your life in ways material things rarely can. I’ve become more open-minded, more willing to step outside of my comfort zone, and more exposed to new possibilities by putting myself in various situations that differ from my everyday living, plus, you’ll always have a cool story to tell!
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As a woman, it can be difficult to speak up when it comes to standing up for yourself. It is crucial, though, to learn how to navigate this through trial-and-error. I grew up being pretty soft-spoken, so when I first learned how to be confrontational, I treated every situation as being one that needed an immediate response. Being able to step back, and learning how to decipher which emotions require a conversation, and which ones were simply meant as guidance for inner reflection is a learned skill. Being mindful of the fact that not everything deserves your energy is critical when learning this skill.
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After a long day, it can be tempting to use social media as a way to wind down. As a psychology student, though, I’ve come to appreciate sleep as being far more than just rest. Sleep plays a critical role in memory, learning, emotional regulation, and your ability to concentrate. Stanford neuroscientist Andrew Huberman emphasises that our brains are designed to respond to light, and excessive blue light from our phones and laptops at night can delay melatonin release, which can make it harder to fall asleep, affecting the overall quality of our sleep. Reducing screen time before bed is a small habit that can make a meaningful difference in both sleep quality, and your ability to focus the next day. I use an app blocker on my phone to block me from using social media during specific hours of the day, and to also limit my overall screen time.
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Building on my last point, another simple habit you can build is stepping outside for a few minutes after you wake up. This can help regulate your circadian rhythm, and improve energy, mood, and focus. If you want to learn more about this, this video goes into greater detail and highlights more science-supported tools to improve sleep and daytime alertness. Andrew Huberman also has an incredible podcast-style version on Spotify you can listen to on your way to school or work.
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Talk about mundane things like the weather, ask more people about their plans for the weekend, if you like someone’s outfit, VERBALIZE IT! You’d be surprised how much random interactions can lighten up someone’s day, especially service workers, fast-food workers, and grocery store cashiers.
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Wow I struggled with this one. I felt as though I had to be caught up on all the dishes, vacuuming, mopping, laundry, etc, in order to rest or spend time with my friends. Great way to burn yourself out! I wouldn't recommend it.
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Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love a cafe study date and an overpriced coffee. It does add up faster than you realize though, so try to learn how to make good coffee at home, treat yourself to a cute mug, and try a library study date every now and then.
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The power of journaling is always talked about on social media, but no one really tells you how to start. The great thing about journaling is that it is entirely at your discretion how you want to journal, and what purpose you want journaling to serve for you. Don’t underestimate the power of a brain dump, though. I watched an interview with Chinese-American Freestyle Skier Eileen Gu, where she talked about how she applies an analytical lens to her way of thinking through journaling. This interview changed the way I personally use journaling. It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life, and develop tunnel vision during specific parts of the year, but being able to go back and get a glimpse of your thoughts and emotions during previous journaling sessions is a really powerful way to improve self-awareness, and credit yourself for emotional growth that would perhaps otherwise go unnoticed.
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Life is busy, and if you cook for yourself, it can be difficult to keep track of what you have or what you need. It’s not always going to be realistic to be completely up to date, but trying to be conscious of this will help limit waste and prevent buying items you might already have.
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There will always be another assignment, another deadline, another obstacle, another reason to put things off. It’s your responsibility to make time for the coffee date, the workout, or the spontaneous weekend trip.
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You are truly your own worst critic, remember that.
If there’s one thing I hope you take away from this blog, it is that adulthood is not a race. Some of these tips might seem like common sense, while others may be lessons you are actively learning yourself. Take the advice that resonates with you, leave what doesn’t and above all, allow yourself grace. This chapter of your life is uniquely yours, embrace that!
I would love to hear from you: did any of these particularly speak to you, or is there a piece of advice you wish someone had shared with you?